I don't generally stay anywhere below 5 star (darling!) so that cuts out a large proportioin of crap hotels in the world but here are a few which will never see my cash.
- Strattons in Norfolk, mainly due to this: http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/303601-to-take-the-body-lotion-and-soap-from-a-GBP250? which is self explanatory. Bad PR, terrible customer service, it would never cross my mind to go there.
- The Crazy Bear in Beaconsfield. It looks too self consciously kerazee for me. I gather they check you in from an old London bus in the garden which says it all really.
- Malmaison in Oxford. We went for a drink there a while back and the basement bar was gloomy, the service was surly and it used to be a prison which means the rooms are bound to be small. Maybe that's unfair as I haven't checked it or stayed there but I think there's something a bit spooky about staying somewhere where people were incarcerated. I wouldn't want to stay on Alcatraz either.
- Cotswold House Hotel in The Cotswolds. We went for lunch and I asked to see several of the rooms so I can report that they're lovely, sure but they really aint worth the prices they're charging which I assume is a Cotswold premium. Nice gardens, pretty town but overpriced so I won't do it
- Fawsley Hall in Northamptonshire. I went there for afternoon tea and the service was dreadful. It's why I don't generally do 4 star, darling.